Freedom from Pornography in 2018! Are You Ready Men?

This is from my other blog Please share this with a man you know.

It’s a new year and for many men, they make the resolution that “This will be the year that I don’t watch pornography! I really mean it!” That’s a great resolution to make however, trying to do it on your own is a recipe for failure.


Let’s face it, how many times have you uttered those same words only to fail time after time and give into temptation? This year will be different though. How? We are going to go through this together. We will give you advice on how to get over this vice using various tried and successful methods.

As a disclaimer: We at Forging Men are not doctors, counselors or professionals in the sexual addiction field. We are a group of men who have been where you are and through the grace of God, have been able to overcome the grips of pornography.

As I just mentioned, it is through the grace of God that you too will be able to overcome this plague of pornography. If you are ready to do this, then continue to read on.

gods grace

You are probably thinking to yourself “Why would God want to help someone like me?” Because you are his son and he loves you and he wants you to spend eternity in Heaven. God knows us, as men, and he knows how weak we are, especially when it comes to the beauty of women. Women don’t make us do stupid things though. We consciously make those stupid decisions on our own. Let’s take Adam for example in the Garden of Eden. God gave him a job to till and protect the garden. When Eve gave Adam the apple, he was either tempted by the beauty of the fruit, the beauty of Eve, the charm of the serpent or something else but the fact of the matter was, he was tempted and he gave into that temptation and we all know it went downhill from there. You are no different than Adam.


God loved Adam just like he loves you. He wants you to succeed in getting over this vice you have and to become the son that he intended you to be. With that being said, let’s get down to business with our first week of 2018 get to work on your road to freedom from pornography.



Week 1 Training

Find a place that is quiet. Maybe that is a room at home, a walk in the wilderness or a pew at Church but make sure it is a place where you will not be interrupted or have any distractions for at least 30 minutes.

Wherever you are, sit down and relax. Focus on your breathing or the silence in the room and put yourself at peace. Next, talk to God just like you would a friend. If possible, do it out loud. Let God know how much you want to be rid of this plague of pornography in your life. Let him know how disgusted you are, how sick it makes you feel and how empty it leaves you inside. Next, tell him that you are sorry and that you want to do his will and that you will do whatever it takes, no matter how much it hurts, to allow him to help you get through this. Lastly, just sit there in silence and allow God to love you. Allow him to sit by you and hold you. Some of us never felt that from our own fathers. Allow God the father to hold you and love you. Allow Jesus Christ his son to hold you and love you. Allow the Holy Spirit to hold you and love you.

jesus man

This is a new year my brother and together with the grace of God, you will know the freedom from pornography this year. Until next week, may God bless you and protect you and bring you to everlasting life, Amen.

Slow Down

In the military we were taught to eat our food without tasting it. “Hurry up and inhale that chow! Don’t chew!” That is kind of what Advent has turned into as well. We are in such a rush that we don’t get to savor the true meaning of the season. Society starts pushing Christmas on us in July (Christmas in July) and then goes full force in October and they completely and purposely leave out Advent.

Advent is a time of waiting, prayerful anticipation for the coming of Jesus Christ. We should take our time, slow down, enjoy the journey and savor each moment of Advent.

As we await the birth of Our King Jesus Christ, let us contemplate on how we arrived at this moment. Did we do so prayerfully? Were we slothful on our journey? Did we give into the will of society and bypass Advent all together?

For the remainder of the Christmas season, let us slow things down, rejoice the birth of Christ Our Savior, and prayerfully journey with him! Merry Christmas and may God continue to bless you and all that you do for His Kingdom.

It’s A Battle Out There Men. Fight!



Real Christian men pick up their sword and their shield and go into battle daily. As a man of God, stepping outside your door is going into battle. Take a look at what society has deemed “acceptable” by today’s standards. I remember a time when if you heard the word “bitch” on television, it was scandalous. Now you hear so much more than that with the justification that it is on “cable TV” or that it is during “Prime Time” hours. There was a time when a long kiss on TV was “pushing the limits.” Now, people are having sex during “Prime Time” shows on cable TV. So yes, it’s a battle out there, a spiritual one where Satan is going to bombard you with everything he has in his arsenal.


What is your downfall? Lust, pornography, drugs, alcohol, money, fame and notoriety, whatever it is, Satan knows and he will hurl those temptations at you like grenades. Will you be able to shield them off or will you fall victim to them? Will you stand and fight against them or will you cower like Adam in the Garden of Eden?


It is time to kneel before the cross of our savior Jesus Christ and answer the call to Christian Manhood. Devote yourself to being that leader, protector, provider, priest, prophet and king that God has called you to be. You are a son of the most high God, an heir to heaven! Isn’t it time that you start acting like it! Isn’t it time that you start carrying yourself like it! When you hear the voice of the Lord say “Whom shall I send?” You should answer just like Isaiah, “Here I am! Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8). Go out there and fight!


And when your daily battle has ended, and you come home bloodied, bruised and tired, give thanks to God for getting you through this day. Wash yourself in prayer and spiritual reading and ponder on the things that you did right and wrong this day and make a vow to God that you will go out and do better tomorrow. Protect yourself, protect your family, protect the innocent so at the end of your war, you too will hear those words that we all long to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

What Does It Take To Be A Man?

2 emasculation

If you haven’t noticed by now then you must be hiding under a rock or are turning a blind eye to the situation at hand….the emasculation of men. Everyone has their own opinion as to how and when it started but quite frankly, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is how to put an end to this nonsense and have men start being men again. I know what some of you are thinking, “Ok, John is about to go on a rant about feminism and how women have taken over, etc… and you couldn’t be further from the truth. This post is aimed at the core of the problem…men!

2 adam

Seriously men, think about it. We’ve allowed this to happen to us. Now part of it is our fault and part of it is that we were set up for failure right from the start. Case in point: Remember when the serpent came into the Garden of Eden and tempted Eve with the apple and out of nowhere Adam came in with this huge boulder and smashed the serpent, killing it dead right on the spot? Yeah, I don’t remember it that way either. Truth is that Adam stood by and watched the whole thing happen without saying or doing anything to the serpent. It is what I refer to as the “Adam moment.”

2 relationship God

How many “Adam moments” have you had in your life? If you are like me, I bet you’ve had a few. But don’t fret, there is a solution. What is that solution you ask? Well it goes back to the first question that I posed in the title. What does it take to be a man? It takes God. We are nothing without God! Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” That was the call from God to Jeremiah but it is also a call from God to us. There are so many messages from God to us if we just take the time to read his love letter to us, the Holy Bible. There are other ways that God calls out to us but we have to be quiet and alert but most importantly, we need to have a relationship with God. A relationship is only as strong as the time, effort and commitment that is put into it. Men need to build a relationship with God.

2 think

I’m going to leave you with a few things to think and pray about.

2 scourged

Check your ego and attitude at the door – I don’t care how big and bad you might think you are, you are no Jesus. Jesus Christ, the epitome of masculinity, the main role model a man should strive to be. John 19:1 “Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged.” I don’t care how many battles you have been through in life, you will never be as tough as Christ. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.” This verse right here men is the attitude that we should carry with us every day! Allow that verse to permeate into your soul and then go out and live it!

2 godly man

Be a man – Before King David died, the first instruction to his son was: 1 Kings 2:2 “Be strong and be a man!” As I said before, I’m sure many of us have had a few “Adam moments” in our lives and this is how we can avoid them, by being strong and being a man. A Godly man will stand up for and defend what is right in the eyes of God. Here are a few examples. When you are “out with the guys” and they start talking about their past conquests with women, be strong and be a man, walk away or better yet, let them know that what they are doing is degrading to women and detrimental to their own souls. When a male friend texts you a picture of a nude woman, be strong and be a man. Delete that text right away and let that man know that you do not approve of his actions and if you want to send more of a message, attach a photo of Our Blessed Mother with a copy of the Act of Contrition for them to say.

2 confession

Go to confession – The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “after having attained the age of discretion, each of the faithful is bound by an obligation faithfully to confess serious sins at least once a year” (CCC 1457) If you think that you can get away with going to confession once a year, you are sadly mistaken. That is like playing Russian roulette with 5 bullets in the chamber. James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another.” Without getting into the Theology of this verse (That is for another day), the apostles (by todays accounts) were the ordained of their time and could therefore confess their sins to each other. In other words, get to your local Church and confess your sins to the priest who is In Persona Cristi at that moment. Humble yourself before the Lord. Do not be afraid to go, the priest is there to help and guide you. If it has been a long time since you’ve been to confession, then make an appointment to see your priest and he will take the time that you need and help you get through it to make a good confession.

2 pizza #1 dad

Build each other up – Look at the world today and how it views men. All you have to do is look at commercials on TV. We are told that we are too old, too fat, impotent, lazy and that we can’t even order a pizza.

2 encouragement

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up.” There is no room in this world for knocking each other down. We should be praying for each other and encouraging each other as the verse says. You don’t kick a man when he is down! Lift him up, even if he is your enemy, lift him up, dust him off and allow him to see Jesus through you. Remember, Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

2 jealousy

Push aside jealousy and envy – I don’t know when this all came about but all of a sudden it seems like men are more concerned about what they don’t have instead of being thankful for what they do have and if you have more than them, they have no problem letting you know by making snide remarks. Exodus 20:16-17 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, his male or female slave, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” When you are focused on what others have you are not giving thanks for what God has provided you with. Instead of making insulting jealous or envious remarks, give that person praise instead. A simple “God has truly blessed you my friend. You deserve it” goes a lot farther than “Oh a new car! Must be nice to have a new car all the time!”

2 complain.png

Lastly, Stop complaining and give thanksPhilippians 2:14 “Do everything without grumbling or questioning.” Everybody is guilty of this one to one extent or another. It’s hard not to complain, look at the state of the world right? Yes, the state of the world can be bleak at times, sometimes more often than not but, we need to hold ourselves up as men and be that leader that our families are looking for. If our children hear us complain, guaranteed they will do the same. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” As much as there is bad in the world, there is equally if not more good in the world, we just need to take our blinders off so that we can see it. All good comes from God right? Then go out there, search out the good in the world and tell everyone about it.

buen camino

These are just a few things to get you started on the path to becoming the man that God has created you to be. I’m sure that if you sit down and think about it, you can probably come up with a few others as well. May God continue to bless you in your journey. Buen Camino.

Lost In Translation

1 wedding guest

There is a parable in the bible that I love and hate and that is the parable of the Wedding Feast from Matthew 22:1-14. The reason that I love it, is the message that it conveys about salvation and our choice in it. The reason that I hate it, priests use it as an opportunity to talk about “dress code” in their Church.

Last Sunday we heard this gospel and as I sat there in my chair listening to the homily, praying that this would be a different one that would stick to the readings of the day, I was sadly disappointed again. The priest started off well but went right into “dress code.” I don’t mind if a priest wants to push his personal agenda on his congregation but, do it afterwards or at another time, don’t use the gospel to relay a personal message or a pet peeve that you have otherwise the message of the gospel gets lost in translation.

1 God-Or-My-Agenda

If there is one thing that I’ve learned so far in my diaconate journey it is not to push a personal agenda. We haven’t formally begun to study homiletics yet but with the little bit that we are being introduced to, we have been instructed on what will make or break a good homily or reflection.

One of the previous priests from my last parish assumed just because I was a small business owner, I could afford to buy a suit or come dressed to Church in a suit. Most people that know me know that I dress simple. I like jeans and t-shirts and cowboy boots. For Mass though, I have a brand new pair of Wranglers that are pressed and used only for Mass and I were a nice western style button up shirt, shined cowboy boots but no tie. In the summer, it’s more of a clean pair of jeans or Dockers and a Hawaiian style shirt. I dress what I would consider, appropriately.


Let’s be honest, do you really think that if Jesus Christ came down at that moment that he would kick me out of the Church because I could “afford” to dress up dressier? Do you think he’d toss everyone out that was dressed in jeans and t-shirts? I seriously don’t think that he would. Now is that to say that I’ve never worn a suit to Church? Of course I have but, it was during a time that I felt was appropriate for the attire, a special Mass, a special event in Church, etc… but I would never push that on anyone. I think Jesus is more concerned about people coming to Mass than he is with what they are wearing.

1 words

This is part of the “poor catechizing” that I talk about, especially in the area where I live. I’m not sure how it is where you live but where I’m from, in my opinion, our local area has been poorly catechized for a few decades in most, if not all of the parishes here. As priest, deacons and soon to be deacons, we have a responsibility not only to our parish and our diocese but primarily to God that we will go out and profess His message and not ours. Save your pet peeves and personal agendas for another time or do as our Blessed Mother Mary did and hold them silently in your hearts and pray on them. Or you can continue to preach from the gospel of Father/Deacon (fill in the blank) and continue to wonder why parishioners are leaving your parish or the Catholic Church. Stick to the script and let God take care of the rest.

Hope For A Hopeless Nation



Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how much we have been trained to hate and despise each other? Some might say that I am crazy and that it is only a select few who hate each other but I beg to differ. Can you honestly say that there is nobody, no group of individuals, no organization, no politician, etc… that you hate or despise? If you are honest with yourself, I’m sure your answer will be no, there is somebody or something that you hate or despise.

Brittney Cain-Conley

Hate is nothing new, it has been there from the beginning. Satan hated God so much that he would do anything do destroy what God created as he did with Adam and Eve (Genesis 3). When hate goes unchecked it can turn into envy which can lead to death as in the story of Cain and Able (Genesis 4). Was this the case with the young man who plowed into a group of protesters in Charlottesville Virginia killing a young lady in the process? We knew he hated or despised the protesters that he plowed into or he wouldn’t have done so. Did he have some sort of distorted view of these individuals? Maybe he thought that they had more than him due to their ethnicity? Maybe he thought they were just a bunch of liberals who needed to be taught a lesson? I’m sure in the days to come there may be some answers but in the meantime, there is the life of a young lady that has been lost and the countless lives of family members, friends and a nation who mourn for her.


Are we that far gone as a nation now that all we see is color, political parties and ethnicity that we can’t move forward? No! There is hope and that hope is found in Jesus Christ. Is it really that hard for you to put aside your differences of opinion and say “I love you?” Jesus Christ didn’t ask us to love each other, he commanded that we love each other. John 13:34 – I give you a new commandment:  love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. Love! There are so many instances of it in the bible yet so few Christians show it. How can you consider yourself to be Christian if you do not love? Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect,* just as your heavenly Father is perfect. Pray for your enemies!




If we want change, true change in this sinful world, then we must be that change. Nobody is born with prejudices, it is something we learn. We must come together not only as Americans but as children of God for that is who we are.



So today, go out and find someone who you’ve had a disagreement with, politically, personally or whatever the reason and tell them that you love them. Ignore the main stream media who in my opinion, feeds the masses the food of hate and lies and biases as they continue to pit us against each other. Love overcomes hate. We’ve seen it on the cross when Jesus Christ died for us…Love overcame hate. Will you do your part to overcome hate?

May God continue to bless you and all that you do for His Kingdom. Take Care.




Me? Why Me?



All of us are on a journey of some sort. Some people know what that journey is and some people don’t have a clue but, they go with the flow. Which category do you fall into?

If you are on a spiritual journey, then there is no doubt that God is leading you where he needs you but, you must be open to what it is He wants from you and you must be ready to reply “Here I am Lord” when He calls. Isaiah 6:8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am” I said; “Send me!”


Whether you know it or not, you have been chosen by God and you have been called by His Son Jesus Christ to go out and make disciples of all. Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations.” But there is something else that God gave you and that is “free will.” It is completely up to you if you choose to hear and answer Him.


You might be asking yourself, “why me?” Why you? Because you were made for this. That was Gods plan all along and He sent His Son to prepare you for this. Just as in the story of The Vine and the Branches, Jesus has been pruning you, getting rid of the junk so that you can go out and bear good fruit. John 15:16 It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain.


So go out, be strong and have courage because God is with you, Jesus is with you and they are counting on you to go out and be that living example for others, to be that light shining in a dark world, to be a disciple. Joshua 1:9 Be strong and steadfast! Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go.

May God continue to bless you and all that you do for His Kingdom! Viva Cristo Rey!